Staying Positive By Dave LaRue

A couple of years ago I found and removed a
source of growing negativity in my life. Before I made this decision, I’d felt
less and less positive and more and more negative. Looking back, this probably
started as far back as 2015 or 2016. It hit a certain peak midway through 2020,
and I decided I’d had enough by November of that same year.
Ever since then, I’ve invested more in reading
and writing and creating more Comma Club workshops, spending more and better
time with my family and friends having more meaningful conversations—and being
less opinionated—living more congruent to my highest values staying true to who
I say I am and who I want to be. It's way more fun and I'm discovering that I'm
much happier and a lot more fun to hang out with! And I can enjoy others more,
too. What was it?
The source of negativity I removed was cable news. I quit cable news in November of 2020. I have recently taken a hard look at my consumption of news and news commentary online and on social media and realized it was time to make a decision here, too.
From everyone I’ve talked to, it seems a lot of us have felt worse than usual in this age of “doomscrolling” on phones and spending so much time with the news on at home. Are we weird? No. If anything, it turns out, this is universal.
One memorable article sums up a lot of
what's been studied on the topic. I think you’ll find it interesting. Any one
of the takeaways would be enough to make you take notice, but taken together,
they paint a clear picture. Here are some bullet points:
- A study from the time of the
Boston Marathon bombing showed that people who consumed 6 hours of news
daily were more upset than people who had witnessed the bombing in
person or knew people involved.
- That number shouldn’t sound
unbelievable. In 2018, even before the peak “doomscrolling” of 2020,
Americans spent an average of 11 hours a day looking at screens. Most of
us work on screens, and use them for entertainment and to stay connected.
Not all of this is easy for you to measure for yourself, but phones track
screen time. How much time are you spending on yours? It's surprising how
much time we spend in front of screens.
- A steady stream of
disheartening news can alter your perception of the world, causing you to
lack motivation and view the world with a sense of cynicism and
hopelessness. Negative news has the potential to exacerbate your personal
anxieties and the stressful situations occurring in your own life.
- It can lead to physical
symptoms from fatigue, anxiety, depression, insomnia, and vivid or
disturbing dreams, to gut problems and an increased risk of heart attack.
To say nothing of causing people to socially isolate themselves, drink
more, and otherwise spiral.
Since I’ve stopped spending my time this way,
I’ve created more thinking time, idea time, and daydreaming time… my desire to
help inspire, coach, and make a difference is at a new high! More and more
opportunities are presenting themselves! Crazy how it works! I'm able to see
the good, the great, and the truth! I have a much clearer vision of my purpose
and what matters to me! Remember that old saying "garbage in garbage
out" well it's simple but true!
I'm not saying you shouldn't stay informed but
you do need to create a process that feeds you the information you need and
want, both professional and personal! For me, I decided to create more
self-awareness around this and pay attention to how the news source made me
feel. I made a rule to exit and then avoid sources where news was delivered in
ways that excited or upset me or preoccupied me after I stepped away. Even
sources I’d been fond of for years.
Some easy questions for me to ask myself before
spending time watching and listening to others—which is what the news and
social media are—are:
- How will this help me
accomplish what I want to accomplish?
- How is it helping me be the
person I say I am?
- Is there anything I can do
about what I’m consuming, or will it only make me angry, upset, or
demoralized?
It’s been the best news and the greatest relief
to realize that the world wasn’t as bad as I was feeling. Take command of your
attention and put it where it will help you be the person you want to be. I
know you won’t regret it.
Cheers!
Dave