Purpose by Dave LaRue

I believe it is essential to understand and decide what your life’s purpose is. Some people feel that it is too hard to figure their purpose out, or, more honestly, that they don't know where to start. They say, "I'll just go about my business and whatever happens, happens." Sadly I think the majority of people approach their life this way. Often they wind up looking for titles, things, heroes, causes, and more—anything to help them to fill a void that they feel but don’t know how to fill. Maybe they even choose to settle for living vicariously through others' experiences and feeling energized by watching others accomplish their goals.

One of the best examples of this in recent years is when people get swept up in “binge-watching” TV programs or movies. This takes up a lot of otherwise useful time, but that is not the only downside. One thing that happens with compulsive video viewing is that the viewer’s sense of reality becomes tied up in the stories and characters on screen. As they relate and get more emotionally invested, their reality moves inside the screen. This happens with news and social media, too. It’s a convincing illusion, and something many studies continue to confirm and explore. Of course, no matter how engrossing or relatable a story is, what is real is where you are right now.

What is saddest about living vicariously through stories on screens is that we find them more interesting than our own lives. “Stakes” is a concept in storytelling. When more is on the line, it’s more interesting. Driving your car below 55mph on the freeway will cause people to honk their horns and pass you. But, if you’re driving the bus from the movie Speed, if you do the same thing, the whole bus will explode. The stakes are higher for the bus.

The thing is, each person’s life is the most high-stakes adventure they will ever have. You may never defuse a bomb, but you will make decisions that impact you and your loved ones in significant, meaningful ways. What you do in your life matters very much. The stakes couldn’t be higher. You couldn’t be more invested in the outcome. With a little work and attention, who knows how interesting or colorful it could be to boot?

Maybe, at least, entertainment can inspire their viewers. Like everyone else, I am entertained, inspired, and motivated by others' genius, whether it's in sports, acting, speaking, or just the daily actions of people with purpose. But, on balance, I strive to spend my time mindfully, “investing” my time moving towards accomplishing my life’s purpose versus “spending" it watching others. And I value the clarity that comes with a solid grasp of what is real for me.

When people have clarity and a vision of their life’s purpose, they are much more motivated to spend their time growing and taking action to build their life. They become much more selective in how they spend their time. I have seen this time and time again.

When we show up to our reality with a sense of purpose and confidence, the probability of growth improves dramatically! Imagine showing up to all your relationships with purpose and confidence. Just let your mind fantasize about all the possibilities! I hope you're smiling! Creating joy and happiness helps eliminate the excuses you use to rationalize and justify what you're doing or not doing with your life!

The feeling that you are fulfilling your higher purpose satisfies something that cannot otherwise be satisfied. That void we talked about. So much heaviness and discontent people often ascribe to deep, unfixable defects in themselves, or blame on similar failings and flaws in their partners, careers, friends, you name it, turn out to come from an unacknowledged discomfort toward living a life without purpose. When you're working toward your purpose, so much second-guessing and baseline misery people never imagine escaping from vanishes. My experience has been that people who put their life’s purpose first make better partners, better spouses, employees, and create better relationships in general. A keen self-awareness of your purpose and where you can derive meaning and significance in life will help you move to a happier spirit, and a peaceful, balanced outlook: appropriately and authentically content, appropriately and authentically motivated. You'll know why you’re doing what you’re doing, and you'll get better at knowing why you’re feeling what you’re feeling.

What are some of your challenges and favorite excuses you have when trying to determine, understand, and pursue your life's purpose? What's your list of reasons why you're not accomplishing what will bring you joy? Are you blaming others in your life for the situations and current experiences you're having? Do you use them as excuses for not pursuing your life's purpose?

I want to tell you a little secret! Your biggest enemy is probably you! When you’re looking at yourself in the mirror, getting ready to pursue your day, the person looking back at you should be your best friend. Often times, though, they're your worst enemy!

Having clarity of your life's purpose will give you the confidence to make good choices about what you’re doing, where you're going, who you’re going with, who you want to spend time with. Myriad purposeful decisions that will take you on the journey you desire to have. And then, when you're looking at yourself in the mirror, you will feel peace, joy, happiness, and the knowledge that you are pursuing your life's purpose!

Loving making a difference

Coach LaRue The Comma Club